When it comes to being an evangelist for mentality and getting the best out of your time in life, Kary Oberbrunner is the man. He’s a Wall Street Journal and USA Today bestselling author, who also happens to be the CEO of Igniting Souls Publishing Agency, which is a global company that transforms lives and businesses so they can experience unhackable ability and what he calls “souls on fire”. Kary’s passion lies in helping individuals and organizations clarify who they are, why they're here, and what they're doing.
We live in a fast-paced world full of big tech, smartphones, and 35,000 decisions a day —no wonder that our attention easily gets sabotaged. What we pay attention to and how much distraction we allow in our lives matters to getting anything meaningful done with the short amount of time that we have. Today on the show, I am joined by bestselling author and Igniting Souls Publishing Agency CEO Kary Oberbrunner to break into what mentally hacks us and how to be in control of our time and energy.
2:52 How much of your time do you actually own?
6:27 Kary talks about decision fatigue, phantom vibrations, and phubbing
11:04 How your brain gets hacked the moment you wake up
13:36 Why keeping all your options open is a lie
23:24 Do it, delegate it, or dump it.
26:32 Find your boon or purpose.
34:06 Kary’s passionate plea to entrepreneurs
“Your dream is worth it. Therefore, becoming unhackable is necessary.”
GET IN TOUCH:
MARK LEARY:
www.linkedin.com/in/markhleary
www.leary.cc
KARY OBERBRUNNER
https://www.linkedin.com/in/karyoberbrunner
https://ignitingsouls.com/
Production credit:
Engineering / Post-Production: Jim McCarthy
Art / Design: Immanuel Ahiable
Wednesday, July 7, 2021
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
hacked, people, book, decisions, mark, attention, flow, called, life, term, purpose, delegate, talking, literally, world, deadline, business, thinking, smartphone, conversation
SPEAKERS
Kary, VO, Mark
Mark 00:00
So we're rolling, cool. We are live. This is you're doing it wrong with Mark Henderson Leary and my name is Mark and I have a passion that you should be in control, you should feel at least in control of your life. And so what I do is I help you get control of your business. And part of how I do that is by letting you listen in on these conversations between me and somebody else who's passionate about excellence in the entrepreneurial world talking about stuff you already know about, but this time geeking out and digging deep and unlocking those secrets for you. So today, I'm with a fantastically fun, exciting total geek on these concepts of, of mentality and getting the best out of your time in life. Kary Oberbrunner is a Wall Street Journal and USA Today best-selling author, CEO of Igniting Souls publishing agency, which is a global company that transforms lives and businesses. And what he does is he helps individuals and organizations clarify who they are, why they're here, and what they're doing so they can become what he calls souls on fire. And so they can experience unhackable ability, which is an incredible word, we're going to unpack and share their message with the world, which in my estimate is the only job of a visionary entrepreneur. So Kary, how are you, man?
Kary 01:17
Hey, Mark, I am absolutely thrilled to be here. That was a fantastic intro, and I can't wait to dive in. So I love unhackable
Mark 01:26
What the hell is that?
Kary 01:28
So many people have heard about a hack, you know, life hacker, or, Hey, I found a hack to that computer program. Hack oftentimes means shortcut. But the real word is used when someone gains unauthorized access to a system or a computer. So for example, a bank account gets hacked, a computer gets hacked, a security system gets hacked. You don't want someone to hack you, but they do. And a lot of people are nervous about that. But the scariest thing is not your bank account getting hacked. It's your brain getting hacked.
Mark 02:06
So this, I think you and I had a brief conversation after the EOS conference. And I think you've said, well, let's just use what was the movie you referred to that said that? Oh, The Social Dilemma. Yeah. Yes, yes. And the whole idea of that is that all those companies, maliciously or otherwise, are really spending their time trying to figure out how to get your attention. And they're getting damn good at it in ways that are way below your consciousness. And your every action is in some way influenced even if a tiny micro way that's it seems unnoticeable. But it really starts to add up. And so that concept really got me going thinking about how much of my time in my day is under my control? How much of my time in any given day is actually under my control and your estimate?
Kary 02:52
Oh, that's a great question. So the reality is, is that nobody that I know, wakes up and says, today, I want to get distracted. Today, I want to get found to be scrolling mindlessly on social media, like nobody has that intention. And yet, we all succumb to it. So the good question that you asked is, well, how much? How much of your own time do you own? Well, check it out, man. They have the term 'pay attention. Think about that. Right? Like, pay like costs. So there's a cost for attention. And I don't know if you're into cryptocurrency, but they even have a cryptocurrency right now called the basic attention token. So their base, they're basically saying, Look, your attention is worth so much that now we've created a cryptocurrency where you can actually earn value if you use a certain browser. So these days before people get you to pay for anything monetarily, they try to hack your attention and get you to pay attention. And so we see this for example. I love it. You said they're getting very sophisticated big tech. Here are just some examples. When they introduced you know, when you're texting someone, and you can see that they're texting you with the dot, dot, dot. I don't know if you have ever seen that. Yeah, right. or on Facebook, you can see someone's replying. Just adding that feature, immediately spikes people's attention. It hijacked it, it hacked it, because now people like ooh, what are they saying? And how many times have we sat there for 5, 10, 15, 30 seconds saying, what are they responding to? They didn't need to put those three dots. They put them there because they want to hack your attention.
Mark 04:44
Because I remember when I first noticed it, I found it engaging. I felt like oh yeah, oh, there there. It makes me feel like it made me feel like there's an engaged connected conversation that's taking place. I will not depart and I will stay engaged. I liked it. But now that I know what it's there for? Oh, yeah.
Kary 05:05
Oh, yeah. And I mean, the fact that all apps basically come preloaded with the swipes, the notifications, the beeps, the buzzes, the taps, the clicks, that's on purpose, you have to actually turn off things because they come pre-loaded. Why? Because they know that they're selling ads. And ads are purposely put for people that you know, are going to be giving their attention. So, yes, it's not just 'Hey, my book's about big tech, it's about the fact that today, Mark, the average person has to make 35,000 decisions a day. So I mean, think back to our ancestors, it was like chicken, beef, you know, baling hay, or, you know, tilling the field, they probably had a few 100 a day. And now you go to a cheesecake factory menu, and the average person has to make 226.7 food decisions a day.
Mark 06:05
Yeah, Dan Sullivan talks a little bit about that, too, and how, how it's not just, and I think you're implying this, it's not just the quantity, it's the lowness of the value. That's right, I used to have my two or three decisions a week of significance. That was the old time. And now it's like you're making hundreds of decisions an hour, and they're all inconsequential individually. And that's how we spend our time.
Kary 06:27
Yes. And this is why at the end of the day, people say things like, I'm running on fumes. I'm going on empty, I feel drained like all these terms represent energy being depleted. There's been research that even with judges in a court of law, they have decision fatigue and different times throughout the day. So this is nutty. But if you are being in a court of law, and it's before lunch, you may get more death penalty. Like that's pretty scary stuff. Why? Because people are thinking, well, gee, my energy levels are going low. Why? Because here's another thing. Phantom vibrations. So how many times have we looked at our phone? And we're like, is somebody calling me like, I've done that, like, this is all addictive behavior. So even the devices are now people are saying I'm sensing Phantom vibrations or this term that I mentioned at the EOS conference. phubbing. You know, it used to be we snubbed somebody where they're talking, you know, like, oh, there, you know, there's my buddy, Billy over there. And he would snub them. Well, now it's phubbing. This means instead of engaging with Mark, I'm actually checking my phone and you know, so that that's a new term, that's a new term that is legit. It's a real term.
Mark 07:51
So people are standing next to somebody but really putting their attention on their phone.
Kary 07:56
Yes. And it's a conversation. Yeah, it's, it's phubbing. And just one other crazy term, digitfrania. You know, we oh, this is true. I love this stuff. So you've heard of schizophrenia, right? But digitfrania is where, again, nobody else in the human race has ever had to deal with this. But because you now have a LinkedIn profile, it's very good Mark, a Facebook profile, because you have a website, because you have Twitter, but Instagram, you now exist multiple places at multiple times, in multiple forms. In other words, there is a Mark Leary on LinkedIn right now. And so what happens is, because that's your personal profile, part of your subconscious brain is actually spending time there. Even if I don't even check it. Okay, well, there's a problem. Maybe somebody sent you a message that you should check. And now you're like, Oh, now I have anxiety. So digitfrania is like a legit term where you panic because you are existing multiple ways. And then get this Mark, if you're not an honest person. Oh, did you say the same thing on Facebook that you did on Instagram that you did on Twitter? Or did you lie? And you said, you were going out? But you're actually out on the boat? You know, all these types of things?
Mark 09:20
Well, there's a lot there. I mean, it actually reminds me of that moment on stage at the US conference, we're in Juneau tells a story of understanding how to be himself when he realized he had six friends. Oh, good. Yeah, six different routers at the same time, I guess that is why throws a party for and has six groups of his friends show up for different parts of his life. And he's like, Oh, my God, which one of me am I going to be today? Because I'm a little different, which with my younger crowd, I'm a different crowd. I'm different with this with my cup, my clients. And that was the moment that there could only be one.
Kary 09:52
And so when you bring that up, I heard that in the audience, and I'm like, that was gold. So thank you. Yeah, that reference.
Mark 10:00
Yeah, I love it. And it's something I've been working on in general. But it was nice crystallization to realize that like, distinct of the exhaustion,it is to try to center oneself in one and yes, and so it's given me a lot of authority to so that the more of myself,
Kary 10:15
this solution is, yeah, wherever you are, like, be yourself, right? Yeah, for sure. Yeah.
Mark 10:20
So the concept to me, I wanna make this as tangible as possible, cuz I think this can start to feel like a conspiracy theory. But I do think that there are two people, two groups of people who are listening to this. One group is like, I don't get it. I don't do that social stuff. Anyway, I don't even have a phone. Okay. All right. Maybe you can listen to another podcast. There are other people probably who are like, yeah, I get it. I do feel tethered to my phone. And I have a deep-seated belief that I must respond quickly to clients and customers and other people and family. And the idea of getting rid of the phone seems as impossible as landing on the moon by flapping my wings. How, you know, what do you tell somebody who's started the conversation with what do I do?
Kary 11:04
Yeah. I love that question. We'll answer that one. And even for the person who says, Hey, I don't even have a smartphone, you still can get hacked. So stay with us. All right. But examples would be, Mark, what do you do in the first 10 minutes when you get up? Okay, because most people, here's what's really nutty. All right. The book is built around, well, how do you become unhackable. And it's idea focus and flow, knowing, being, and doing. But the phase about flow. What's interesting is that when you wake up for the first 10 minutes, you're off in between a dream cycle, and you are very much close to flow, the optimal state of human performance. So I know some people who literally sleep with a pad of paper next to them and a pen, and the moment they get up, they're just like, I'm gonna cash in on these 10 minutes. And I'm gonna be super creative. And that's great. For most people on planet Earth, the first thing they do is grab their smartphone. Right? The first thing they do out of bed is they grab their smartphone, and they say, here's what they say, who's notified me, who's texted me? What's happened when I'm offline? And they treat their inbox as everyone else has a to-do list for them. So that's why they're getting hacked. It's like, oh, now you're responding. And you have 10 responses, and you literally leak all your creative energy, you get out of flow. And now you're in this stress, cortisol, managing chaos mode.
Mark 12:44
Well, there's a science side of that, that I think is interesting and true. But it's a very basic person personality factor. If you don't have clarity of direction, it's much easier to just sort of pick up somebody else's urgencies and go by fires. It really takes the burden off you to think and you just go into reaction mode. And it's really easy to feel like I got to go be a hero to a bunch of other people's causes and lose the routine, and responsibility of taking control of your own energy for your own purposes.
Kary 13:18
That is the BS. I like that. It's so true. Getting validation of being everyone else's hero. Fighting, fighting fires, rather than charting your own path.
Mark 13:29
That is instant value. It's insane. I needed, I must go save someone. And like, to think about purpose.
Kary 13:36
That's Wow, that's good. That's good. Yeah. And even if people are like, well, I don't have a smartphone. Okay. Well, let's talk about Netflix. You know, let's talk about undecided decisions. Here's a big one. Oh, wow. These we call these open loops. Okay. Yeah. So right. So open loops are where you have a decision to make, and you never came to a conclusion. And here's the little lie we've been taught Mark, keep all your options open. Right? Teachers and adults have said that for years, I'll keep all your options open. Here's the danger that when you keep all your options open, you are literally leaking your attention. You're getting hacked, and here's why. What do they do to an unhealthy tree, a tree that's just super unhealthy, they prune it, they cut off the branches that are not healthy. they close the loops. Now you might say well, tell me more, decide. The word decide has the same root word as suicide insecticide, genocide, homicide, pesticide, you name it, it means death. So yeah, so it comes from the Latin word kadeer, which means to cut off or kill. So when you decide, you are literally choosing to be unhackable. You're cutting off all the attention that's leaking. So here's an example, like you work with amazing business owners, I hear you're a really good implementer. So you can imagine, someone says, should I sell the business? Shouldn't I sell the business? Should I get a partner? Should I get a business partner? What happens is they live in those four realities. And they're literally chewing up their RAM, their mental RAM, just like a computer has 55 tabs open and it goes super slow. Even for the person who never uses a smartphone, undecided decisions leak their power and they get hacked that way.
Mark 15:45
It's an interesting concept. Because I had a coach that I worked with for a year or so. And he actually went the other way on that, he said, be careful of decisions versus choices. Because a decision is a commitment to let something until you taking options off the table that you may not be able to get back. If you approach it as a choice, it's something you can try and then make another choice. And so, I have in your perspective, I think you want to know both, you want to know, am I making a choice to try it that I may revise my choice on that, which is a non-permanent, non-fatal approach, as opposed to pruning, which is, I really just don't want any more options. Let's decide and take options off the table. So we can travel a little lighter.
Kary 16:31
Let's take the EOS world. Ai, D. s. Right. Yeah. Right, identify, discuss and solve what I'm gonna put in there, I tend to fi this side, you know and solve. So I get it in your discussion. You are then making a decision. Like, that's why you check it off the box. So I agree. Like, I hate lingering decisions. I really do. They call it attention residue. And attention residue means that it's finite, and you're leaking in each decision, certain mental possibilities. And as a result, you don't show up filled up. In fact, that's one of my other books, "Show Up Filled Up", you know, you show up empty, and you can't be effective.
Mark 17:22
How does somebody okay? He said it's a three-part ingredient, focus flow. Well, the idea focus and flow, idea, focus, and flow. So I'm hearing some themes around that. And we want to show up focused so you can get into a flow state. And then whenever I hear flow, flow, and focus my immediate reaction ends up being you have to have comfort, that the things you're not paying attention to her, okay? Yes. If you have the fear of something burning down, while you're not paying attention to it, you can't focus.
Kary 17:55
You can't get in the flow. Exactly. So in the book, I talk about something called flawless idea anatomy. It's basically like how do you know? How do you come up with ideas that stick? How do you come up with ideas that are unhackable? And there, we built around several words that start with the letter P. Like P is in Paul, but some of these words are for example, promise. Okay, and posture. And the point is that, what are your ideas? JFK, man on the moon, part of what made his idea flawless is he put a deadline on it. Okay. In other words, there's a lot of people who never put deadlines on their dreams or ideas. And as a result, they get hacked. So it's like, yeah, I should write that book. Oh, but there's Netflix. Yeah, I should write that book. But I gotta, I gotta mow the yard. Like, when you're writing a book, especially you look for distractions. It's kind of a joke with writers. Like, Oh, I should write a book, I guess I'm going to clean my office. Because it's harder. It's harder to do that. So to really have a flawless idea. One of the things I mean, think about back to your high school days, your college days, when did you finish the assignment? When did the bulk of the people in the class finish the assignment, even if it was assigned in September, and due on December 5, most people waited till the fourth. So in other words, your brain works in such a way that when you have a deadline, you absolutely become unhackable. Like it doesn't matter if the house could be burning. But if your geometry assignment is due tomorrow, and your whole project is dependent on it, you don't care. So my point Mark is like how can we create deadlines in our lives in our businesses in a Mike Rowe way, so that we don't have to get these big life situations that you know, divorce that all these huge things that we're like, oh, now I'm gonna get focused.
Mark 20:06
You know, it takes me back to a time when I had sold my business. And I was working for the company who I had sold the business. And I was going through a lot of life transition, a divorce and moving and things like that. And there's a six-month period where I was pulled in a few different directions. I didn't have a lot of bandwidth. So I would sit down at the office, I would write like a six, prayer, I mean, based on the whole idea of the six priorities in the next six or seven priorities. The next day, and I would, and I would have, like, I'm gonna get these seven things done. And at the end, and I had this really finite time. And I would sit well, here's the six. Okay, well, it looks like I'm not gonna have time for that maybe is more like these four. And also, time for that, actually, next thing, you know, I'm like, okay, apparently, I've only got an hour. And I'm only gonna get one thing done. What is it? And what I discovered is after like six or eight weeks of that, I couldn't believe how much I was getting done in a situation where I had the most scarce time I'd had in years. Yes. And that's when I coined this idea of, you know, infinite elasticity of time model versus the scarce finite. So the infinite elasticity of time is my previous mentality, which was like, Hey, I'm a busy entrepreneur, I can work as much as I need. Yeah, put that on my to-do list, all the state a little, I'll get it done. Yeah, just find a way to do it. And that is exhausting, and super unproductive. And when I reversed it, like, I've only got four hours, that's all I got. Because that really changed the game.
Kary 21:30
You started with a container of time, as opposed to saying, I have endless time. That's good. You know, and just to piggyback off that, there are some tricks that you can do, for example, your power cord, right, I got a power cord here. There's some, that's a deadline. Like I literally
Mark 21:48
like doing that,
Kary 21:50
Oh, I literally know people that say, look, I'm going to Starbucks, I'm getting away from all the distractions, I'm putting on my air pods. And I'm not plugging in my laptop. And I got to finish that project before the power dies. And I mean, you're in this race and you're in flow. And if someone comes by you, don't even that's, that's a little trick, you know, and we in the book, we have all these little tricks like the open loop one. Yeah, I think I might have had you do this in the workshop if I had time. Where I said write down all the open loops in your mind, or open windows, whatever you want. And people put like, landscaper cake I you know, I got to get the cake decorated. I got to get the stuff dry cleaned. I got to decide the business. They write down all other piece of paper, all the open loops, and then they get three post-it notes. Okay, and they put down do decide, I'm sorry, yeah. Wait, hold on. Do, delegate. Hold on one second, man. You don't remember my home but hang on one second. I know exactly what number it is. It's day 19. Hang on. It's been a long day, my friend. I got it here. I got it right here. A nice day. 19. This is the beauty of writing nine books. You're like, what did I even say? No. Okay,
Mark 23:12
So who is it? Steven Kotler? He said the brain, oh, actually yeah, your brain is best for thinking not for storing. Yes. Stop storing.
Kary 23:24
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, exactly. I don't store all the data. Oh, no, I just go, Oh, it's on the book page. So do it, delegate it, or dump it? Do it, delegate it, or dump it. So you literally get do it delegated, dump it. And then you take each task, and you put it underneath the one I actually do this on a wall. And then I see oh my gosh, there's all my dues. And notice in the book, I say you do it, and then delegated is somebody else does it and then dump it is nobody does it. But what Jack Canfield says is, oh, have a category called delay. And I'm like, nope, nope, you put a category called delay that's called everyone on planet Earth. I'll just delay it all the way. And it just chews up your subconscious mind.
Mark 24:12
Interesting. So you're, you're specifically saying that the worst thing you can do is delay it.
Kary 24:18
I'm saying we in the book, we give people a pass one delay for 72 hours and you can grind on it mentally. But then after 72 hours, you have to decide and there's very few decisions in life that you have to delay. And people might be like, well, that, you know, I delay everything. Yeah, that's probably your problem. You know.
Mark 24:43
So do you think the EOS approach to that is to say we call them issues and issues anything? Well, the yes issue, an issue is anything unprocessed and that doesn't, it might be a problem, but it might be an idea. It might be a decision, it might be who knows, it's a thing that you can name that's yet to be processed. Short term and long term, short term are those things that can't wait and long term is things that should wait so much. So put them on a list that we're not going to look at. So you can let go of it. Does that satisfy that for you to have a lifetime?
Kary 25:14
Okay, I like that. And here's why. You might say, well Kary, you know, what's your next book? Mark, I got eight books on a spreadsheet. But I'll tell you what, it's dead to me. Like, this is the beauty of it. I love what you said about EOS. On the long term issue list. It's as if it were dead. Now if you're like, Oh, I look at the long term list you issue every day. Okay, that's a problem. Okay, cuz now you're thinking, Oh, what about Julie? Oh, bummer. You know, what about that? So no, I'm fine with you. compartmentalizing and say it's dead to me, you decided. And then you look back a month later and say, Oh, I found this other issue. Great. Let's dust it off and dive in.
Mark 26:02
So we're gonna run out of time quick. We're going fast. And we both got a time constraint here. So I want to make sure people think about this for the first time in the right way. Is this about thinking in compartmentalizing decisions as we talked about? Is it about that damn phone? Or is it all computers? What's the first step for getting a sense of like, look, I gotta get off of this phone. And this is where I start.
Kary 26:32
Yeah, I'll tell you what, it will start with day one, man. Yeah, day one because the book is zero chapters. And it's broken down into days, and day, date. So I got 30 days. And day one. I love it. Okay. it's, it's called write your story. Okay. But it's how your old story hacks you. Huh? Okay. So like, we're gonna go real abstract for a moment. Forget the phone. You know, who cares? How does my story hack me? For example, Kary, you always fail. You never measure up. You don't have connections. No deal ever works for you. Like, people do that all day long every day. They don't even need their phone. They're letting old stories hack them. And again, a hack is when something or someone gains unauthorized access to a system. And our bodies are made up of the circulatory respiratory, you know, digest, and the computer supercomputer. But Mark, I think to land that plane for people, here's what I'll tell you. Until you know what I call in the book your boon, I'll explain in a moment. Until you know your boon, you don't care if you get hacked. In fact, you'll crave getting hacked, kind of like what you were saying we're going to be the hero. people actually want to get hacked until they know their boon. Their boon is this their deepest desire, their greatest ache, their truest longing, kind of like your new thing that you might do. I'm not gonna let any surprises up. But you have this term about purpose. Yeah. And I would say until you know that, you're like, hey, please hack my life. So, in the hero's journey, Joseph Campbell, basically the hero leaves the leaves, the ordinary world goes into the, you know, the special world, but they have to fight a giant, whatever, you know, like Luke Skywalker, Neo, but here's what they do, they find the boon. And bring it back to the ordinary world. The boon could be Excalibur, the Holy Grail, the fountain of youth, it could be for you, and your EOS, people making a dent in the universe through your small run business, you know, whatever. But once you know your boon, then you're like, now I'm going to protect my attention. So that's really the premise of the book. It's like, look, if you're purposeless, you don't care if you get hacked. So the first step is buddy, let's find out our boon. That's where we do part one, then we move into the idea, then we move into focus, flow. And then you become unhackable.
Mark 29:24
It's, and I just did an interview earlier today. And it was the same. What I said was like, you know, you'd be surprised how many times in the conversation of entrepreneurship broadly, entrepreneurship is broad as it can be, how many times the concept of purpose comes into the conversation and it's, it's shocking, it's everywhere. It's to the point where I'm like, oh, we shouldn't be talking about purpose again, and I was like, wait a minute, that's the light switch, like, oh, it's actually everywhere. And, and I think the reason we have to keep talking about is you have to nail it. And if you've nailed it at one level, you might need to nail it at another level as you iterate, but tip to work towards unique ability dance on this term to work towards your highest and best use and delegate and elevate in the US terminology as you have to have a sense of what you're good at, what your purpose is, what you know, what your terminology could be, your passion could be, your cause, whatever is drawing you to, to have significance in your own words, for you to have permission to say no to anything at all. Yeah, and to know what, something that deserves your Yes. Looks like,
Kary 30:29
I love that. And you nailed it. I mean, this is why Viktor Frankl you know, Man's Search for Meaning. People in the concentration camps dying, who are the only ones who made it through? They are the ones who have purpose. So I'm with you, man. Purpose can take you through pain. You mentioned, you know, a tough season in your life. Oh my gosh, I've had major tough seas in my life. But it's the purpose that gets us through. And then you say, yeah, yeah, man, I don't want to get hacked. So it's a passion project that's
Mark 31:05
so that the hackability that I think there's a lot of things coming together, there is an iterative process, like you can't just sort of flip the switch, you're going to have to say, Hey, is this working? No, maybe not. And you probably don't have clarity on day one, you're gonna have to force a little open space, you're gonna have to for some spots, spot, Okay, I'm gonna buy Unhackable. Okay, I'm gonna download them and listen to them. I'm gonna, I'm gonna take 30 minutes to read it and start the process and get a little more clear. And then you can say, Okay, I think I am being manipulated by things. Maybe in my Yes, maybe my own, maybe I'm sabotaging myself do my story, like you said, Yeah, work your way up to that because a lot of what I talked about is the habits. Yeah, if you know anything about habits, you know that habits are everywhere. And that most of what we do in any given day is pre-programmed by us or by somebody and entirely automatic. And so if you're getting exactly what you want from your life already, then you don't need to do much, you just go. But if you're feeling like there's something more, you're going to have to pause and stop those patterns, stop those habits. And that's your opportunity for reflection for observation for deep discovery. And it's a whitespace activity that allows you to observe and you must observe and you must make judgments. And that starts a process that has to be then in and of itself. iterating to, okay, well, what do I want? Okay, let me try this. Okay, that wasn't as awesome as I thought it would be. Maybe there's something else that will be better and keep this observation, reprogramming cycle going, moving yourself more in towards your purpose, and all that, to cap it off with the unhackable concept is that there are forces at work actively trying to get you to serve their needs and not yours. Just cognate that, just digest the fact that it's pretty easy. There's lots of people who just want your attention to look at this product. Don't you like this product? You're a CrossFit guy. Don't you want to know about these CrossFit products? Oh, you're right. I am a CrossFit guy. I do want to wait, wait, wait, I was supposed to write a book today. Yeah. Wow, I am looking at CrossFit products.
Kary 33:10
Absolutely. And my biggest passion when you asked me to be on the podcast, here's all I asked for people today. Even become aware, like, that's a huge win. I get emails and stuff Mark, from people who say, Oh my gosh, just yesterday, I was supposed to be doing something when I picked up my phone. And 20 minutes later, I'm like, What am I doing? And they said you know what, Carrie, I just realized I got hacked. That's all I care about. Like, even if they say I know, I'm now aware of the problem. Now we can go somewhere. But until we're aware of it, we're kind of locked in the matrix?
Mark 33:55
Absolutely. I'm gonna let you go on time, you need to get you really last 60 seconds or so. So let's wrap this up quickly. What's your passionate entrepreneur or passion passionate plea for entrepreneurs right now?
Kary 34:06
Oh, I would say that you are worth it. Your dream is worth it. And therefore, becoming unhackable is necessary. You need to get your message out in the world. And as long as you're getting hacked, you won't love it.
Mark 34:23
If somebody wants to continue the conversation, keep up with what's going on in your world. What's the easiest way for somebody to find you?
Kary 34:28
For this topic? Let's go to Unhackable book calm, free assessment, free flow trigger, you know how much is flow in your life and how to amplify it. A lot of fun free stuff there.
Mark 34:40
Love it, man. Awesome. We've covered a lot in a short amount of time and I'm fired up actually. I'm going to spend the rest of the day trying to make sure I don't get hacked and material for sure. But for those of you who found this useful, get it in the hands of people who can help. Subscribe, share it, give us feedback. If you hated it, let us know if you love it. Let us know as well. In the meantime, we're out of time. We will see you next time and you're doing it wrong with me, Mark Anderson.
VO 35:05
This is you're doing it wrong with Mark Henderson Leary for more episodes and to subscribe, go to lyric.cc